So lately, I have been getting a taste of the adult life. Earning, living on my own, making my own decision(so far all of them have resulted in negative outcomes). Living on your own terms sound fun, but there are certain things that only experience can teach us, I hope. Here is a list of realizations…
1. Not everything is gonna work out
For someone who has always been in the cocoon of support, it is hard for me to have hope and persevere in the face of adversity. I kind of think maybe if I had taken the accountability thing seriously earlier, I would not have to face this feeling. Now I have mad respect for people who bounce back. It seems easy when someone else does it but a whole new ball game when it’s your life/career on the line.
2. Some people are just not meant to be
Be it friends, family or the person you love. Some people are just not gonna be there for you in the time of your need. I have unfortunately distanced everyone, now I don't even trust anyone who is trying to help. People leave and that’s a normal part of life. We just make the mistake of getting attached, which I am still making knowingly. I know, HYPOCRITE!
3. Maybe, you are not who you thought you were
As things unfold and as you get newer surroundings, you change and the image that you hold of yourself might just shatter. At that point in time, you’ll just feel as if you are an outcast. One has to go through the painful process of building themselves over again. But only this time, because you are accountable for your actions, you have to do it on your own.
4. Love is confusing(or maybe it’s just me)
You’ll see many people having someone in their corner, supporting them no matter what and being there. But you also see the same people parting ways after a certain period of time. Having said that, some are lucky to find the person they end up loving and even luckier are those who have the person they love, love them back. Things don't make sense whatsoever when it comes to this 4 lettered word and I have been made to believe that the world revolves on this word. Which makes me yearn for someone even more. And that’s not a nice feeling.
5. You’ll not be able to keep everyone happy(even your loved ones)
I know this has always been told to us. But I used to function under this assumption that the people who are close to me should be happy. But my actions were judged with a microscope by those same people using the veil of “I don't want to see you get hurt”. Which is perfectly fine but sometimes we learn more from a negative experience than a profound positive experience. One expects their loved ones to accept them but as you change, you’ll see that’s a difficult thing for them to digest.
6. People will say,”It all gets better”
I freaking hate it when someone does this, it makes sense but the mind can't comprehend as to how that might happen. Since everything is going wrong how the heck is it supposed to get better? This is a triggering event for me and it really takes a lot for me to not try to punch people in the face when they give abstract suggestions.
It’s tough, to find hope and inspiration in uncertain times. As I am going through one right now I can vouch for that. Maybe things will get better, maybe they won't. Maybe I’ll find happiness, maybe I won't. Maybe I’ll succeed in making some weird, abstract idea of success come true, maybe I won't.
And maybe… just maybe… It’s alright to not be fine.