Things seem so freakin hard

So I have been trying to get the hang of coding for the past year but it seems that I have been progressing very very slowly. I don’t understand what is going wrong. Lack on mentors? My approach to problems? Distractions? I honestly have no clue as I constantly see people having a knowledge level far superior to me.

Although that’s kind of a good thing. But I cant seem to find a way to get there. Just the whole thing has been coming really slow. The place where I interned didn’t have a proper growth model, I went and did no work as there was none for a web-developer since the company was at the budding stage, by budding I mean literally no clue of what is supposed to happen.

I have been chasing the dream of being a GSOCer for the past 3 years but I keep failing. I have enrolled in courses and have been working on them. ReactJS was the one thing that I thought was going to be the turning point in my life as I thought that I have come to know about it so soon, but the opportunities are very few as well, and I have no idea how to get a reactJS developer job or an internship.

I tried my way but it doesn’t seem to be working so here is a blogpost of excuses and a rant.

Also this is a plea to other developers out there. If you have any suggestions, ideas and/or plan please do let me know. I desperately want to improve but I’m failing to find mentors who can help me do that.

I see qoutes like :

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.

They provide motivation for sometime, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

I can keep going on about the things that are not in my favour but I don’t want to. I just want to push things aside and grow. At the moment, I feel as if I’m failing miserably…